Malay proverb states, "heavy or light are carried together." That should be husband and wife. There is no gender division of labor within the home. The lesson are the work becomes lighter and can be completed sooner which will mean more time spent together. The greater wisdom and benefit are the love of the wife will be more fertile. Because in a wife’s point of view husband's ability to help is one manifestation of love. Implicitly it described how the husband understands his wife, the burden and responsibility.
Fourth, ANGER CONTROL
The accident occurred on a journey back from the Bani Musthaliq conquest expedition, 'Aisha accidentally separated from the group, seeking her lost necklace and then delivered home by Shafwan who also left the group because there is a necessity.
Then 'Aisha went up to his camel and escorted by Shafwan to the Prophet pbuh and his companions entourage, but Shafwan can’t chase up the group and eventually they arrived at Medina.
The problem is getting more complicated because there was disunity among the Muslims. Those who believe the issue is right and those who does not. The Prophet pbuh also change his attitude towards Aisha, he told Aisha to immediately repent. While Aisha did not want to repent because she believes that she is innocent, she just cried and prayed to God to show what actually had happened. Then Allah revealed the verses that show the Muslims that the Prophet is the best person and the consequence is whoever became his wife must be a good person too, and that includes Aishah ra.
From this God revealed Quran Surat An-Nur: 26.
Slander that has happened to Aisha may consider to be a heavy case and a very bad dream to a wife. House that’s missed clean, a slow cooked dinner, a fussy child, unwashed clothes, and a thousand other disability is just a small case that can be discussed properly and politely. However, I believe that every wife who is a good and pious woman will not let such things happen in their own homes. If any, it must have been caused by the things that are not deliberate and cannot be avoided.
Is not Aisha also been asleep when drying the grain so that the grain was eaten by birds? And once she has given all the money she has to the poor and did not leave the slightest to simply buy a snack?
Recognizing and understanding wife’s character and personality will help husband in determining the attitude towards their wife. Because to have a good manner and an anger control, actually is very closely related to husnudzhon (presumption of innocence) and patience in getting the truth.
Fifth, COURTEOUS and CIVILIZED
Politeness to others it is very easy, especially if the person has a higher degree; more virtuous, more charitable, more generous, more experienced .... and possibly richer, higher position, greater influence and other possibilities. But, confronted with a wife is a different story.
With a title as Chairman of the Household, a husband is expected to be polite to the wife who is his partner, a person who do almost everything for him, his life and his children. Not only the wife of a highly educated and higher degree who earn the right to be treated with courtesy, actually all wife has the right to earn this courtesy, regardless of the stage of education, social background, family origin and her history in the past.
Include the use of polite language, how to get along and way of life. Saying 'please', 'thank you' is always used even for small things. Eating with civilized even only in front of his wife, wearing clothes that look pleasing to the eye, reprimand or even when mad using a low voice (not a high tone), asked for permission when dealing with goods belonging to his wife and many more things. We can summarize it as follows, actually the many examples we mention above are what we call 'Sunnah of the Prophet'. So 'Sunnah of the Prophet’ aren’t just the polygamy issue (but also including comprehensive example regarding relationship between husband and wife).*